Isla's Birth Story

On Wednesday, March 4th, 2009, I was eating my lunch with two co-workers when I suddenly realized I had not yet felt Isla move since the previous night. I immediately dropped whatever food I was surely shoving into my mouth as if I hadn't eaten in months and clutched my basketball belly. I don't believe it, I thought, she is usually so active that I couldn't understand how I had made it this far into the day without feeling a kick. I asked for reassurance from my co-workers that could not be given. I proceeded to eat anything sugary that I could get my hands on that would give my girl a kick-start. Nothing, all afternoon I didn't feel any movement until the evening, 7 pm was always her busiest time so I was extremely relieved that she decided to give me a short but very noticeable acrobatic show at that point. I decided that although I was happy she was still swimming around in there, I would be sure to bring it up to my doctor at my weekly appointment the following morning.

Most weekly appointments were nothing out of the ordinary and I did not think this one would be any different. I mentioned to my doc the previous day's worries and she suggested we start with a non-stress test. Isla did not do so well on her test, she must take after me in this area, I hate tests too! The ultra-sound tech fed me juice, pushed on my belly, she did everything short of reaching in side of me and tickling her but Isla did not move a muscle until minutes within the half-hour mark. They sent me in for more monitoring and informed me that the doctor would like to speak with me after the tests were completed. I remember making a joke (as I always do in completely uncomfortable situations) at which the tech did not find funny in the least and I started to think maybe something serious was about to happen.

Once I was dressed and sitting across from my doctor she began speaking and I rose out of my body. Looking down at myself I saw a girl, terrified, being told that her baby barely passed the test and that they suspect that her placenta is failing because the baby inside her is only weighing in at about 5 lbs at 38 weeks. That girl was told that she was not going to work today as planned but instead she was going to the hospital to be induced. I couldn't believe that the girl below was me. I don't know if this is when I first went in to shock or if it happened much later but I know I felt very numb. I got lost on the way home, I got lost coming home from a place I had been to at least 20 times in the past 38 weeks.

I met my frazzled husband, Nate, at home, packed my bag (which I had completely procrastinated at doing) and ate my last meal, we were off to the hospital. While we sat in disbelief in the registration office I spoke with my family members. In particular my brother who had just witnessed the birth of his beautiful baby girl, Avery, being born via scheduled c-section. I got the news that my sister-in-law, Erin, and baby Avery were both doing well as my brother Seth proclaimed how beautiful his daughter was in a tone that I had never heard on his words. Hearing the sound of those words sent a rush through my body that made the room swirl. I was so happy that he was in that moment and could not believe that I was going to have that same very special, very anticipated moment in my life so soon after.

We settled into our delivery room and met the first in a line of many, many, many nurses. The plan of attack: Insert Cervadil which would help me dilate and efface. This would not do much but possibly cause some cramping and I was told I should sleep through the night, wake up, shower, eat breakfast and then be induced with Pitocin. In a very small percentage of women, Cervadil will actually put a women into labor, but don't worry they assured me, it's a very small percentage. Well, as you read on you will see that being in the very smallest of percentages is kind of our thing.

They inserted the Cervadil at 4pm (I remember because Oprah was coming on) and within the hour I was having contractions, painless at first but that quickly changed. The nurse I will never forget assured me that I was cramping and that "most women" sleep through this part. She didn't think that I was in labor because it was so uncommon, but I knew his was unlike any cramping that I had ever felt before. She made me feel horrible by telling me this and each time she came into the room I would act "normal" and like I was not in pain as to show her I was not being affected by my "cramps". At shift change in walks the second nurse I will never forget. She is wearing an Adidas warm up suit in place of scrubs, she is a loud, friendly, comforting and crazy woman. She looks at my charts and says "Oh no honey, you are in active labor!" THANK GOD! I have never been so relieved to hear what I already knew in all of my life!

That was the beginning of about 10 hours of non-medicated, can't leave the bed, 100% back labor. Miss Isla was sunny-side up causing contractions in my lower back and bottom...a lovely feeling let me tell you. I couldn't get out of bed because they had to monitor me and they couldn't give me anything for the pain because her heart was not handling things well already. So, I laid there and they would occasionally come in to flip me over like a beached whale.

Labor was all quite a blur. My contractions were over-lapping which didn't give me any time to rest. One would peak and before ending another one would already be climbing. I did my breathing and barked orders at my loving husband. "Rub my back! Stop rubbing my back! Turn on the lights! Turn off the lights!" He was great, and gracious and completely there for me throughout the entire labor (except for those 2 hours where he slept on the cot and I labored while watching The Fresh Prince of Bel Air at 3 o'clock in the morning).

When they approached us with the recommendation of a c-section due to Isla's heart not managing the stress of labor it was the easiest decision in the world for me. For starters, the pain would be taken away very soon, by a huge needle inserted into my spine maybe, but beggars can't be choosers. More importantly, my child was in danger. Earlier I agreed to being induced because my doctor explained that whatever was happening to Isla inside my body was exactly that, inside my body. She could be more easily taken care of outside my body at this point. So, with those same words of advice I made my second decision based on my daughter's best interest. I will always regret not having given birth vaginally but ultimately, I would not change a thing. It was not about me and the way I planned for her birth to go at this point, it was about this tiny baby girl inside my belly fighting to be born.

Isla's actual birth was extremely surreal to me. I was rolled into the operating room but not before they almost dropped me when the two halves of my birthing bed came apart in the middle of the hallway. I was rolled in and given the spinal, which compared to 10 hours of labor didn't feel like much more that a mosquito bite. I was numb from the chest down and my arms were straight out on either side of me. I heard the nurses counting off their tools and saw the doctors walking above me, all of whom did not pay all that much attention to the head that was me at the top of the table. All except nurse Adidas, who never failed to tell me that I was doing a good job. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Nate joined me which helped me tremendously to have courage. They began the procedure and I could feel tugging as by body rocked back and forth. My eyes were spilling tears as I prayed for my most amazing little baby to have a strong heart and to make it out to me alive. As her body was pulled from my body I heard nothing. I looked up at Nate who had a better view than I. He assured me that she was out and that they were cleaning her off and checking her out.

Then a nurse popped her head around the curtain and said "She has a little bit of a cleft lip and a cupped ear".

"No she doesn't, no she doesn't. They told me no." is all I could say.

Nate was handed this baby. I stared at her in disbelief. She had a big portion of her upper lip missing, her nostril was stretched to the side and her ear was folded over. She was tiny and red and woudn't stop poking her tongue out and in. At this point I wish I could describe the feeling I had but I can not. I do not have words for it. I did love her immediately but it was not anything like I had expected. She didn't look like any other baby I had ever seen, she was not placed on my belly just after being born and I wasn't even the first person to hold her. I didn't have much time to think about this because I started to first feel my lungs begin to numb, which they stopped by inclining the bed. Then I began to shake and throw up into a small suction stick (the kind used by dentists!). I asked the nurse if she was serious and then proceeded to puke into the air. Agh yes, just the labor I had envisioned!

I began to panic with a numbness that I can not explain. I was spinning on the inside but calm on the outside. I looked back up at my baby in the arms of her father as he said "She is so beautiful. Look, Beck, she is so beautiful." I watched as a father fell in love with his daughter and was snapped back to reality. She is beautiful. She is my baby. I have felt her tremendously tiny hands sail over the inside of my belly for months and I have felt her gentle feet push against my hand. I have waited for this moment for so long. She is here. She is my daughter.

She was eventually placed in my arms and somehow we were back in the birthing room. She latched on immediately, it was the first and only time that she breastfed with no problems at all. She looked up at me with those eyes and I loved her. That moment was perfect. She was perfect.

Isla Arlene Neylon

Born March 6th, 2009

4:58 am

5 lbs 7 oz